What Defines You?

When I was a kid, my mother used to tote me around wherever she goes. We always run into one or two friends of my mother and they would always ask, "Is this your daughter? All grown up eh..yada..yada..yada.."  At school, teachers would oftentimes compare me with my sister who was a straight A student. I actually, did not make anything of it. When you're young, you do what you do. A job was just a job. Pocket money was all that mattered not savings. I thought I did good. I got married, had a happy relationship. I thought I got life figured out.

As the years went by, I noticed that whenever I see friends of ours down the street, they would always ask " Where's your husband? How is he?" It may be an innocent statement but I felt like they just know me as " my husband's wife" not me me. I felt lost. I began to think of what really defines me.

If I took out everything, my family, my husband, my job, what am I? Who am I? Am I always gonna be my mother's daughter? sister's sister? husband's wife? When you strip yourself of those, do you know who you are? It does not necessarily mean you do not value those. Yes, they are a part of you but not the core of you. You are who you are with or without them. That's when I met me.

It wasn't easy looking for me. I had journeyed half my life and realized, I am nowhere close to meeting who I was. I did not even know I should be looking for me! I used to think I knew everything. That I have lived enough to know what I needed to know. How wrong I was!

I started to think back on who I was. What made me what I am today. The changes I went through to be who I am today. These kept rolling in my head. Then I became more aware of what makes me laugh, what makes me cry or what makes me angry. I looked back on my life and tried to recollect what is my biggest achievement in life. I realized, I never gave me any importance.

When I met me, it was like being washed clean. It was like another breath of fresh air. I knew I had to do things for me once in a while. Obligations and responsibilities are always gonna be there but now I know that if I do not give me a moment, I cannot give life a moment too.